Other cute names Meta employees have for Mark ‘Eye of Sauron’ Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg, prince of my heart, recently said his employees “lovingly” refer to his attention as being like the Eye of Sauron. And you know what? I believe him.

Big Zuck brought this comparison up on the Tim Ferris Show, explaining that he has this “unending amount of energy to go work on something, and if you point that at any given team, you will just burn them.”

Yes, you could argue that the Eye of Sauron in The Lord of the Rings stands in as a physical representation of evil, but do you buy that explanation? Really? Do you? Do you, really? Really, do you? Really? You? Do you really? Really? Do you?

Let’s think about it another way, using our brain logic. So, riddle me this: would Zuckerberg or anything associated with him ever spread misinformation? Doubt it. Ergo, we know for certain* Facebook and Meta employees refer to him as the Eye Of Sauron in a good way.

In fact, they don’t stop just there. It’s a well-known fact* that people working for the Zuck have a whole load of other cute nicknames — and they’re all completely adoring.

Mark ‘Hannibal Lector’ Zuckerberg

Think this is comparing him to a notorious serial killer and cannibal? NO. WRONG. It’s because no problem is too big for him to eat.

Mark ‘Cruella De Vil’ Zuckerberg

Let’s be frank: all of us want a suit made out of animal skin. Ideally, we’d go a step further and want one made from human flesh.

But, just like Zuckerberg, we know that, as homo sapiens ourselves, such a move would be wrong. Totally wrong. Not justifiable at all. Not even a bit. A teensy-weensy little bit.

Anyway, Facebook/Meta employees don’t call him Cruella because of his cruelty or his penchant for wearing the dead flesh of his enemies. Really, it’s because he’s a little bit of a fashion icon around the offices. And with that haircut, who could blame them?

Mark ‘Freddy Krueger’ Zuckerberg

There’s no evidence that Mark Zuckerberg enters people’s dreams and slaughters them mercilessly with his knife hands.

Instead, Facebook/Meta employees call him Freddy Krueger because he has his fingers in a lot of pies, and looks great in a fedora.

Mark ‘The Devil’ Zuckerberg

Uhhhh, it’s because of his… musical talent? And… the devil was an angel once too, right? It’s a compliment. It’s the best compliment. The best compliment ever. Prove that it’s not. Go on, prove it. If Zuck says it’s a compliment, then it’s a compliment. A good thing. Being called the devil is a good thing. A compliment. The finest compliment.

There we have it people! Four nicknames that Facebook and Meta employees totally, 100% use for Mark Zuckerberg* that are actually super positive and cute.

*not a real fact