8 foolproof ways to clutter up your Mac

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in this life, it’s that the more stuff you have, the better. If you have a higher number of things, basic math tells you that you have more money. And we all know that more money is better than less money.

That’s why I live life by this simple mantra: you can never have too many things.

This doesn’t just apply to day-to-day life, as the same is true of your Mac. Yeah, losers might tell you that clogging up your Apple computer with data will lead to “problems” and make it “go slower,” but who are these people? Really, who are they? Are they experts? Who made them experts? It wasn’t you. So why listen to them?

Really, what your MacBook or iMac needs is to be jammed with as much stuff as possible. Because, as we learnt earlier, the more things you have, the more money you have. And you want your machine to be more valuable, right?

The 💜 of EU tech

The latest rumblings from the EU tech scene, a story from our wise ol' founder Boris, and some questionable AI art. It's free, every week, in your inbox. Sign up now!

Well, in this piece, we’re gonna show you how to clutter up your Mac to the max, so you can achieve that lofty goal.

Keep all your unused apps — and their leftovers

Have you ever downloaded a bit of software on macOS? Decided you didn’t like it? And deleted it? Shame on you.

Well, hopefully, if you did delete the app, you didn’t clear all its settings and associated files? Wait… you did? How monstrous. Utterly monstrous.

Here’s a tip: never delete your old apps, or any of their data. Think of bits of software as potential collectibles — who knows when they’re going to be valuable? And, just like the packaging on those old comic book figurines, you want to keep ALL bits of the app.

One day, all those random files could be worth loads. And you don’t want to look like a sucker in the future.

Duplicate each and every file

The only thing better than one useful file is hundreds of copies of that exact same file. I mean, put it this way: would you rather own one gold bar, or thousands of them?

That argument is precisely for your computer. It’s far better for it to be brimming with duplicates of files, rather than be sparse and empty. That’s a fact. A stone cold fact. Would you trust a bank with no money? Then why trust a Mac with an empty hard drive?

While you’re at it, never delete a thing

That invoice from 2007? Keep it. That DMG of an old app. It stays where it is. Thousands of emails you deleted but decided to store locally? Your Macbook’s hard drive is a beautiful nest for them. Let them rest. Let them become more valuable. It’s the right thing to do.

Don’t do anything about that system “junk”

Some people will say that all those temporary files your Mac creates that are never used again are “junk.” If someone says that to you, you have my full permission to sock them right in the kisser.

There’s nothing trashy about thousands upon thousands of files cluttering up your Mac. In fact, it’s merely a delightful sign of aging. You wouldn’t tell a powerful oak that all the rings in its trunk documenting its years of growth are “junk” — so why should you tell your MacBook anything different?

What you’re doing there is creating a museum inside your Apple machine. What some call “junk” now, future generations will marvel at.

Cache in the attic

Your computer operates by storing files it needs fast access to in something called its cache. The idea is that it can quickly grab these bits of data whenever you need, making the whole process of using your Mac or iMac as seamless as possible.

With this in mind, you may be thinking clearing your cache is a good idea. WRONG.

Consider a library. Yeah, you can get a book quicker if there are only five novels stocked, but who really wants to read The Da Vinci Code again?

In reality, a library has hundreds of thousands of books, a vast repository of knowledge — and your cache should operate in the same way. Never clear it. Keep that Mac cluttered.

Keep that trash can overflowing

You know what they say: one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. From my understanding of this, it means you must keep all your trash, forever and ever and ever.

It should stay filled for eternity, growing only bigger and bigger, until trash swallows up your entire Apple machine and threatens to, somehow, spill out into reality and swamp your apartment.

If that happens? Well, you’ve just found yourself a goldmine.

System backups of your system backups

If you’re sensible — and also serious about cluttering up your Mac — then you should have system backups. And I mean loads of them.

Ideally, you don’t want to use one of those fancy tools that make sure you don’t have duplicate files. You want the real deal. Gigabytes and gigabytes of beautiful, beautiful data, just cluttering up your computer.

Every browser extension on every browser

There are millions of browser extensions — and most of them are free. So what are you waiting for? You should be downloading as many as you can, on as many browsers as you can.

Hell, if you don’t own every single browser available, get going! You’ve got to make sure your Apple machine has no available space. Every single megabyte must be used in order for you to wring every last drop of value.

And, on this mission, I wish you the best of luck. I know you’re gonna get rich doing this.

You can get access to CleanMyMac X at 10% off— an all-in-one app to help you unclutter and streamline your Mac.